Tip #25: How to get groom involved

Tip of the Day
Tip Courtesy of Planning a Perfect Wedding
Now you are a happily engaged couple, planning the wedding of your dreams. Traditionally, the bride has taken the most responsibility for planning the wedding ceremony and honeymoon. Thankfully, gender stereotypes are being challenged and more and more grooms are stepping up to the plate and helping to plan their weddings.
The following lists some simple ways for you to get your groom interested in the planning process:
1) Have one-on-one discussion with your groom.
2) Make wedding planning fun for groom. Try to lower his anxiety about wedding planning and boost his self-confidence. For example, compliment him on his creativity, organizational skills, musical tastes, etc.
3) Create manageable tasks that the groom can be involved with and take accountability for, such as ordering the wedding invitations, addressing them and mailing them to your guests.
4) Ask your groom to what degree he would like to be involved regarding wedding planning. Avoid trying to read his mind about his feelings about being involved in planning your wedding.
5) Ask your groom if there is a special area that he would like to be responsible for one of the following areas:

• wedding music
• flowers for ceremony
• flowers for reception
• planning your wedding lunch or dinner menu
• finding tuxedos or suits for himself and his groomsmen
• listening to different DJs and bands and selecting his favorite one
• researching and visiting reception sites
• planning honeymoon (destination, accommodations, itinerary)
• selecting and ordering wedding cakes and desserts

6) Work with your groom’s special interests and talents. For example, if your groom loves cooking, have him plan the menu for your wedding lunch or dinner. If your groom loves music, have him plan the musical entertainment for your reception.
7) Delegate certain simple tasks to your groom.
8) Brides, avoid the “Bridezilla” phenomenon. A “Bridezilla” is defined by the following behaviors and characteristics:

• controlling behavior
• irritability
• yelling
• making all the decisions
• being hard-to-please
• criticizing the groom’s tastes, ideas and preferences

9) Encourage your groom to think about planning your wedding together as a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you two to bond in a unique way and learn more about one another through the wedding planning process.
10) Ensure that you have open and honest discussions about your wedding budget, including the overall budget, budget for ceremony, reception and honeymoon. Discuss what expenses the groom, the bride, the couple, the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents will be responsible for.
11) AVOID fighting over wedding planning and wedding budgets. Finances is the number one topic married couples fight over. Start your marriage on the healthy path by having loving, mature, productive discussions about your wedding finances.